P!N3@PPL3 3xPr3SS ❤

dropofjupiter:

Okay… I guess I’ll do it… If I have to… Lol <3

(Source: salvatore-vampire)

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using my mom's money: im going to buy that, and that. $150? im definitely buying that.
using my money: $2? maybe that's too much..

I could have cats.

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10knotes: The Defibrillator Toaster My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!” “DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!!  NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!” He’s bread, Jim. Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast!  JESUS CRUST. JAM IT! “Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.” LMFAO ^^ Follow this blog, you will love it on your dashboard

10knotes:

The Defibrillator Toaster

My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”

“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!!  NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”

He’s bread, Jim.

Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M

If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast! 

JESUS CRUST.

JAM IT!

“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”

LMFAO ^^

Follow this blog, you will love it on your dashboard

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theepichumor:

this blog is epic

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